About Forgiving

Gue gak inget udah pernah nulis tentang ini atau belum di blog. Let’s just assume belum pernah yak. Ehehehehehehe..

I was intrigued by someone’s story a couple of weeks ago. Jadi dia ini sama mantannya udah pacaran kurang lebih 6 tahun, then pacarnya dekat sama perempuan lain dan voila, bubar jalan deh pacaran 6 tahun. Marah gak? Ya eyalah, putus tanpa orang ketiga aja nyesek, ini lagi.

Tapi gue sangat salut, orang ini dalam setahun bisa move on, dan yg terhebat, dia memaafkan mantannya. Dia bilang sama gue,

Being angry is tiring. Setahun gue marah, setiap hari bangun dengan perasaan pengen nyabik2 muka mantan gue dan cewek itu. Lalu apa? Gue lelah, nulis di media sosial kok negatif mulu, nyari quote kok yg nyindir perempuan itu mulu, gak konsen kerja, pokoknya hidup jadi berantakan.

Then I decided to stop and contemplate, deep into my soul. Gue sadar bahwa selama 6 tahun itu mantan gue gak happy sama gue. I was a mean girlfriend, gue memperlakukan dia kayak supir, gue memaksa dia memenuhi semua keinginan gue yg sifatnya materiil, gue nyuruh dia ngerjain kerjaan gue karena guenya males. Siapa yg gak muak sama sikap gue?

Ya wajar nggak wajar sih dia nemuin rasa nyaman dari perempuan itu. Gue aja yg selama setahun kemarin gak bisa ngaca, gak mau ngeliat bahwa gue punya andil dari dia cheating dengan perempuan itu. Jadi kalo sekarang ditanya, ya gue bisa bilang gue memaafkan mereka dengan segenap hati gue. No more calling her a slut and sending her hate messages. I apologize to her that I ever did that, while what she did was trying to make someone I love happy. Sama kan tujuannya? Ya dia bukan jodoh gue berarti, toh selama ini adiknya juga gak suka sama gue, gue aja yg terlalu naif buat mengenali tanda2 ketidaksukaan itu selama 6 tahun pacaran..

Well, so mature. Gue cukup shock, wow, gile, ada ya orang semudah ini memaafkan? Gue jadi malu karena masih suka memendam kesal2 gak penting. Dan bener sih kata dia, marah itu melelahkan. Honestly, I’m still keeping anger for someone, and it does tiring. Gue berusaha untuk memaafkan, step by step, not easy, I failed a lot, but I’m making progresses in every part, not only love stories.

To you, yes you, from this day on, I will try to forgive what you did to me. I will try to forgive what you called me. I will try to forgive what you said to others about me. Because I want to live in peace, not in hatred like you. I am sorry for whatever happened between us, it was not totally your mistake or mine, it was ours. I hope you find your peace in your heart soon, because, don’t you get tired feeling angry all the time?

I learned from Bravo that there is nothing wrong in forgiving someone. He always does it best, and I think I have to ask him how to do that and be positive all the time. I’m taking baby steps right now, slowly but sure, I hope there would be no more anger. Capek cyiiin~

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