proud parents vs possessive parents

Disclaimer: gue menulis berdasarkan hasil observasi gue terhadap beberapa kenalan gue yg sudah menikah dan punya anak.

When you’re finally got married and have your first child, pasti bangga ya rasanya. Ketika ngumumin kelahirannya pun nulisnya “proud parents, nama emak dan bapaknya”. But have you ever think that kebanggaan itu bisa berubah jadi possessive acts?

Kok bisa chie? Ya bisa aja. Apalagi dgn adanya media sosial kayak Facebook, Twitter, Path, atau Instagram. Gampang banget buat para orang tua ini utk nyeritain kebanggaan mereka terhadap si anak. Entah karena udah bisa jalan, ngomong, gak minum susu sapi. Atau sekedar bisa ngangkat kepalanya.. *lirik Maishkash si mamak2 seksih nan pongah. Hihihi*

Ya kalo cuma begitu sih sok lah, wajar dipamer2in menurut gue. Anggep aja diary online toh, sama kayak blog gue ini. Gawatnya, kebanggaan terus menerus itu kebanyakan berujung di tindakan2 dan ucapan2 posesif. Misalnya, anak gue tuh cuma punya gue. PUNYA GUE! Yang lain gak boleh milikin dia, bahkan future wife/husbandnya pun gak boleh.

Diiiihhh situ oke? Anak mah cuma amanah and titipan kali dr Tuhan. Kalo ternyata Tuhan *I speak in general religion ya* gak suka sama possessive words and acts lo itu, terus Tuhan gak mau anak lo punya ortu yg posesif, terus anak lo ‘diambil’ aja lah sama Tuhan daripada dia tumbuh di tangan ortu posesif yg mungkin membahayakan masa depan si anak. Matengg matengggg deh lo. Mamam tuh anak cuma milik lo.

Ketika gue nulis ttg ini di facebook dan twitter gue, ada temen gue yg komen. Wait until gue jd orang tua. Well, gue harap gue bisa tahu batas antara being proud and being possessive. I will bear in mind bahwa if I’m lucky enough to become a mother, anak itu cuma amanah and titipan yg bisa diambil kapan aja sama yg punya, in this case, God. Dan semoga gue gak akan pernah being possessive karena yaaa, mana bisa sih posesif sama yg bukan milik lo?

Gue segitu terkesannya sama tulisan yg super terkenal berikut ini. It’s a very nice reminder for parents and future parents. Semoga nantinya gue bisa menerapkan tulisan ini dan gak mengikuti jejak kenalan2 gue yg posesif sama anaknya dan pongah itu..

“Your children are not your children, they are the sons and daughter of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,  for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow which you can not visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you, for life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness.
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

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